Date: July 22, 2011
Author:Tegan Quin
Headline: June 2011 - Ask Tegan

Em asks:
Hey Tegan, Random question: Did you rush into getting any of your tattoos and do you ever regret getting any of your tattoos? Thanks :)

Hey Em!
I don't think I rushed into any of them but some I think I could have definitely thought longer about or used someone more experienced. But I love them all the same anyway! I definitely think anyone thinking of getting their first tattoo should wait until their twenties and think long and hard about it!
Good luck!

Sarah writes:
Hey Tegan!
I've always wondered why there are two different versions of If It Was You. In particular, I've noticed that the Canadian album has a different version of And Darling than the American one. Why did you guys choose to/have to do this? Thanks!

Hey Sarah!
Well, its been a long time since we made those decisions so I can't quite remember why we did it the way we did. That was in the early 2000's when downloading was just starting to get popular and a lot of the record companies were panicking and adding extra tracks/bonus features to ensure fans bought the record! That's potentially NOT why that happened but that's what I'm sticking with! ha.

Janelle asks:
Hi Tegan!
What are the best and worst things you've ever experienced with your band, with Sara, with your parents, and just by yourself?


Geez! Complicated question! ha. The worst things I've experienced as a person, with my band, Sara and my parents have been all pretty much the same thing. Obviously death and illness are tough ones. I've lost a few very close people to me and that's been hard for all of us in our family. The band has gone through many incarnations and its always difficult to let go of people and hire new people. Sara and I have struggled to find our way and make space for one another over our career and long before that as teenagers and children. But you get through it. I try to always take a minute each day to be grateful for what I have and remind myself that it could be worse and then I keep going!

Kayla asks:
Dear Tegan, What is the meaning behind The Con music video? I always thought Sara was saving you from yourself maybe?
Love, Kayla

Hey Kayla!

As the video was a collaboration with us and the director I can't take full credit for the whole thing. But my inspiration while performing in the video was to imagine myself tortured over something, almost trapped in thinking about it and Sara has to come and save me. The therapist is mainly just bored but morphs at one point into a balaclava wearing therapist and I think that was a way to tie in the themes from the Back In Your Head video. Basically both of us were very influenced by The Con and the concept that you could be tortured just to be tortured and that some times you just need someone to take you down. Slap you out of it. Or in the video's case, flee a creepy hotel in New West!

Jessie writes:
Hey Tegan,
I was just wondering if you had any advice to a young person trying to come out in a religious household? I have always been raised with the belief that being gay is wrong, disgusting, and even "from the devil" it is making things extremely hard to try and find a way to come out to my family. I know you weren't raised in a religious household but I was wondering if you would have any advice or input.

Hey Jessie
First off, I just want to tell you that you are not wrong or disgusting or from the devil. I don't believe being gay can make you any of those things. I also don't believe in the devil. Eww. I'm sorry that you're being raised in such a household. I'm sure even though your parents think that way that they do love you. I've seen a lot of kids in the exact situation you're in and I've seen their parents come around. Its not always easy and it takes time so be patient. As Dan Savage always says, WAIT if you're still living at home or your parents are paying for your college if you think they'll kick you out, endanger your life or cut off your school payments. I think standing up for who you are and standing up to them is important but not if it will ruin your life. There are a lot of ways to be OUT without being banished from home. All that being said, you need to follow your heart and do what you have to do. Remind your parents that they made you who you are. You come from them. They should love you unconditionally. If you believe in God then you know God loves you unconditionally. At least that's what I've heard ;)

Ellie writes:
Tegan, I'm 20 years old and still haven't come out to my parents. When I was younger I always told myself that I'd have to tell them one day. But now that I'm older I'm beginning to think that maybe they really don't need to know. Why rock the boat, you know? Do you think it's important for me to come out to them or is it fine to just not say anything?
Love Always,

I think you need to follow your heart. I really believe that everyone has their own path. I think if every gay person on the planet stood up and came out the world would change in a second. Obviously that is not going to happen though and so each person has to decide for themselves. I can't demand anyone come out as I don't know their situation. I did date someone who's family didn't know and it was very difficult. Ultimately, unless you're estranged from your family, they will eventually find out and so you might as well do it at some point!
Good luck!

Dear everyone who reads this Q+A,

I was forwarded a lot of questions about my personal relationship this month and since the questions were all pretty much about one thing I've decided to write you back all together.

I am NOT engaged nor am I getting married anytime soon! The ring you're all asking about is awesome and fits that finger! That's it! No big secret! Although I have been in a serious relationship for many years now and love my partner very much I don't see marriage as an option. Gay marriage is legal in Canada but as it's only legal in a few American states, for the time being I am abstaining in solidarity with the Americans who can't get married! Thanks for prying. ;)

-Tegan Quin